Sick Sucks

So I've been sick for 5 days now, and thankfully I think I am at the end of it. The timing couldn't have been worse for me to get as sick as I have been, this weekend was our big banquet. As prep work started I started to feel under the weather, the next thing I knew I was waking up Wednesday unable to breath or swallow. As the day wore on so did my symptoms and the next thing I knew I was being sent to bed by some of the directors. This is what started 5 days of bed rest, and has been absolutely driving me crazy!! I need to work, I need to be active, I don't know how I haven't gone crazy! This has also given me yet another reason to be thankful for everything I have been blessed with, being sick in a town without family or close friends, sucks! You have no one to rely on but yourself, which while sick teaches you a lot about how resourceful you can be. It's also proven to me that I am definitely an extrovert who thrives off of being around people. So as I prepare for my next week of work and getting over one of the worst sicknesses I've endured, I find myself asking, "Why did I get sick before one of our biggest events?" I know it happened for a reason, and I know I may never know that reason, but I also get really frustrated knowing that I missed out on an amazing event and I didn't get to do tons of work to prepare for it that I was so pumped and excited for. So here I sit, trying to not be frustrated and looking forward to all the craziness about to ensue as the holiday season approaches us!! I can honestly say I have never been more excited and terrified for Thanksgiving and Christmas, even if my plans are completely different from anything I ever imagined for myself. It's funny how things work out in the end, God is good!

One Big Contradiction

Okay so it's been over a month since I have posted, I'm sorry. I don't know what it was for the month of August but every time I thought about blogging, I would come up with a million other things that I needed to do. The perfect description of me = procrastinator, if it were possible to procrastinate procrastinating, I would be first in line to try it, which is a very ironic statement, but I digress. Something I have learned about myself this month, I procrastinate more than anyone I know, even when it comes to doing things I love. I feel like procrastinating is my way of rebelling, my way of being a free spirit and going with the flow, which is also very ironic since I tend to like schedules and having things planned out. I've decided I'm a huge ball of contradiction wrapped in irony. It's also my way of avoidance. (This is probably a much truer analysis.) I feel like I'm the queen of avoidance, while I can be very confrontational, very blunt, very direct, and can help others confront so much going on in their lives, and while I like to act like I do the same with my own life, I don't. I hate dealing with my own emotions, I hate facing what is right in front of me, so I deflect, I move on to a happy subject or I switch over to the mode of taking care of someone else, this is yet another example of the irony and contradiction that I am.

So the month of August was very full of emotional times for me, both ups and downs. Jewell left on Aug 1, and we spent our last week together getting tattoos, staying up way later than we should have, talking about everything under the sun, making random road trips, and so much more. It's crazy how fast our summer together flew by, and it's even crazier how two girls from two totally different worlds and two totally different personalities could become such close friends. Coming into this adventure I was sure that she would drive me crazy, that we would have nothing in common, that I was going to be miserable and I would hate her. Instead we have so much in common, she does drive me crazy, but I love her and would have been lost this summer with out her. The person who I once dreaded as a roommate is someone I can't wait to have back here and living with me again, fingers crossed it will hopefully be in December. The week after Jewell left, the Board at ROP, extended my internship for a year, something I have been praying about before I left Tulsa. I am so excited, yet terrified for the year to come. First off, I'm not a huge winter fan, I love the fall, I love the cold, but I hate snow and ice, I hate having so many layers on you look like a blob, and I hate being wet in clothes. I'm also learning that my version of cold is a lot different the Colorado's, but I digress. While I know this is where God wants me, it's going to be something that stretches me so much, I'll be here through the holidays and won't get to make trips home for Mom's birthday or Thanksgiving, and those that know me, know how difficult that will be, however I am so excited to be working for a mission organization during the holiday season!! These are just a few of the things I was avoiding writing, because once they are written they become more real to me.

I feel like this blog has a Debbie Downer attitude to it, so don't think that is where I am at, I am so happy and ecstatic to be in Denver and know this is exactly where I am supposed to be, I'm just filling you in on where my August was spent. In addition to Jewell leaving, and being extended, I got to spend a weekend back in Tulsa with Luke, a friend from up here, we went to the lake, saw as many friends as possible to squeeze into 36 hours, and I got a new car. As you saw from the other posts, Bulldog had a rough month, and didn't quite make it through, after dealing with the world's worst insurance company, they finally cut a check and Dad and I started car shopping via many phone conversations and emails. Luke and I landed on a Friday afternoon and Dad still hadn't found anything, so he told me, we went to several lots after making a quick stop for a Bueno fix, where I met a very dear friend who asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding next year, a very big highlight of my weekend back home, but I digress. So after going to several lots, including one where I found my "dream car" but Dad walked away saying it wasn't good enough and had too many scratches in the paint, which it so didn't, I was changing my plans from a weekend of hanging out with friends and going to the lake, to a weekend of finding a car. When we got to the house I jumped out of the truck to attack my dog, Tyson as I was playing with him in the driveway I noticed everyone was staring at me, I figured it was because I was being my normal goofy self playing with Ty and started to walk in the house when I saw the car I found online and told Dad about a week before, he told me they had already sold it. It's a blue 08 Chevy Trailblazer, with a sunroof (the most important part). I of course, am the luckiest girl in the world and could not have been blessed with greater parents, they are both wonderful. August also brought a month off from kids programming in the evening, but the start-up of a new kids tutoring program, me writing my first newsletter (which you should be getting within the next week if I have your address, if I don't and you want it, leave a comment or email/facebook me), spending as much time with Kaitlyn before she left, and so much more. All in all, August was a great month, despite all the ups and downs and now I'm looking forward to a wonderful September. And I promise I'll do better at updating.

Muchos love!